It’s strange to feel as though I do not know myself, even after all this time. There’s so much of life that is merely going through the motions — attempts at routine, normalcy, and carrying on as you’ve always done. One foot in front of the other and all that.
And, it’s fine.
Really. Truly. Most of the time, it’s not much more beyond that is it? Life in some ways is still a fight for survival. It takes so much to get beyond worrying about bank accounts, working 12 hour days, and taking care of yourself, your home, and responsibilities that getting lost in the sameness is perfectly reasonable.
Until it isn’t.
Somehow, I have recently found myself in a position where I don’t really have to worry about a lot of the things that once kept me up at night or kept me working through the night depending on how you look at it. I also am lucky enough that I no longer have to worry about money. The difference between poverty and broke seemed insurmountable (and is for many folks) that is a bit of a shock to find myself financially comfortable. We won’t be buying second houses or boats anytime soon. But I can go in the grocery store and buy pretty much whatever. (It’s honestly better than going to Disneyland.)
Added to this comfortable financial world is that all these other parts of my life seemed to have settled. And I have time. And not just time, but the emotional bandwidth to do other things.
The last year or so, I feel like I’ve just been trying to get back to the person I was a long time ago. Or the person I thought of myself as.
And I find myself retreading old ground: cooking more meals, baking more cakes and breads, taking the dog on more hikes, taking more photos, spending more time with family, reading more books, writing more things, and actually going out. All these things I once loved but that slowly were stripped out of my routine are now jostling for space.
This is all just a very long-winded way of me saying, “Hey I’m still blogging even though it is a very not cool thing to do in 2019. And I’m going to keep talking about stuff that I like. Now that I have time to do that, you can expect more posts.”