Sometimes I write because the pieces of me, of my life, of my experience, of my truth are too hard to hold onto. I can’t keep it inside so I need to share, just get it out, scream, shout, yell, write, type. Somehow seeing the words and thoughts in black and white makes them so much easier to process. I can think and feel with the distance of the paper and the pen.
And today, I feel that way like I absolutely must write something.
But I can’t write it here.
I know now to be a tiny bit more careful about the parts of me I leave scattered on the internet. The world isn’t always safe, so the safest place for me to write is on real paper with a real pen in a journal. The analog version is much more dramatic, and feels far more personal than what I choose to share of me on this blog.
But every so often there are days like today where I just can’t think what to write about because a problem has me so swallowed up in my thoughts it’s all I can think of. Days like today I wish I wrote about just one thing.
Like travel, or television or food. Then I could get away with posting a photo, a few links and a witticism or two about how to be wiser when you live life like me.
Wise. Certainly, not.
However I do feel with a certain air of wistfulness that I am suddenly an adult. Perhaps it’s realizing yesterday in a brief moment of rational reality that I should really think about getting health insurance, or maybe it’s because I’ve been reevaluating my budget this week in an effort to pay a little more on loans next month. You know, boring adult stuff no one ever thinks they’ll have to do when their 12, but then one day you’re in you mid-twenties and you realize those bills don’t pay themselves.
I feel older, but not wiser.
And perhaps that’s the real contemplation, the trouble rattling in my brain, am I ready to make that leap into adulthood?
My gut instinct is no, just keep playing, enjoying life, embracing the freedom I have now and engaging myself in learning as much as I can about the world around me.
Anyway all my weird wonderings aside, here’s some stuff you should read or listen to this week.
How Mormons Make Money in Bloomberg Business Week (Honestly I’m impressed they were able to do half the interviews they did.)
Tosh Apologizes for a Rape Joke in Huffington Post (Great another good guy is really just a dick. Why?)
Jonathan Krohn Leaves the Conservative Right in Politico (Wish I’d been this insightful. Ever.)
Long Shot from This American Life (Totally worth it just to hear Ira Glass say Monticello wrong. Still makes me smile.)
Oh and if you can check out “Geekspeak” it is a pretty awesome mathy book that makes me feel smart, because it makes math interesting and fun.